She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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