Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
