DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
