Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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