side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
