So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
