You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
