So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
