Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
okay pat passed out under dana's car
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
