he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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