Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I got inside last night via doggy door
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
