The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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