I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
How does it feel to date your dad?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
