Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
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