When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Randomize