brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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