i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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