my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize