Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
