How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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