I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Randomize
