At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i think i have two assholes
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
