You're so nebulous sometimes
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
