I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
