I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just invented taco cereal.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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