He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
