DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
