Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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