In the future we'll all be gay
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
