oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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