I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
