i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
