Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
