Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
