9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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