return my video game
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
