my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
