We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
