I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
