listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize