She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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