my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
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