I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
