Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
