Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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