oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
...so i touched it.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
