she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
