ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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