i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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