Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
