trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
