Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
