When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Too much gin, very little bucket
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
third nipple confirmed
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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