we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
