your room smells of hookers.
And success
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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