my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
