The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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