school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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