she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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