You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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