Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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