And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize