If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
