all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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