laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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