Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
