he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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