Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
