Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize