i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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