You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
