I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
