Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
i out mim tonsoeep
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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