Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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