How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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