I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
