You just made me feel so damn special
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
