I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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