its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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