just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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