From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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