Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I want a musical about memes.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
