Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
