Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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