discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
